Thursday, March 24, 2011

Qualifications of a Caregiver.....Revised

Believers think that everything that happens is according to God’s Plan and God’s Will. Everything happens in His time, not ours……..whether it’s good or bad. In an earlier blog posting, I admitted that I sometimes (maybe often) question – wonder - why Bob/we were “chosen” for this journey.

On Thursday morning, he dozed as we drove towards home from his appointment in Hattiesburg. I was left to my own thoughts. Once again, I begin to wonder "Why Us"?

Research has no answer about what causes Multiple Myeloma. Several possibilities have been suggested: pesticides, herbicides, wood dust, chemicals, etc. – but nothing definitive. Science knows that cancer doesn’t just “happen” – there must be an answer……..

Everyone knows that Caregivers must be compassionate, kind, loving, caring, have wisdom, an inquisitive nature, strength, ability, agility, and patience – as well as dozens of other characteristics.

God looked down and thought “This couple will be the next to take this journey, because she still needs to learn”.

He said “She has compassion, and she’s kind, loving and caring. There’s nothing that she wouldn’t do for her family, or others”

He said “She has wisdom. She will know what should be done, and when to do it. She’ll be able to manage his care.”

He said “She’s inquisitive. She’ll know to ask questions, and she’ll research and look for answers.”

He said “She has strength, both mental and physical. She can endure; she has great staying power and coping skills. She’ll be able to withstand the stress of this situation, without the need for much rest.”

He said “She has the ability to deal with many situations. She’ll have her moments of desperation, and she’ll cry, but she won’t fall apart.”
He said “She will know that it’s important to make the right decisions, when he can’t, for his care.”

He said “She has patience and understanding. When he hurts she will hurt with him, and when he cries – she, too, will cry. He will know that she understands how he feels.”

He said “She has courage. She will be able to help him fight this battle.”

He said “She has friends and family, for support. She will need those.”

He said “She understands the Power of Prayer. She will pray for him both day and night. She will pray with her words, and with her unspoken thoughts.”

He said “But she is missing one important qualification. She is missing Acceptance. She will not be able to accept this path that I have chosen for them.  She must learn this, and for this reason, they must make this journey.”

And, I have not yet mastered this!  A friend of another Multiple Myeloma caregiver posted on Facebook “When God calls you, he equips you”. I think that’s very true, for I’ve noticed as the weeks and months grow, so do my “qualifications”. Maybe someday, I’ll master  Acceptance……just not yet.

Wouldn’t it be great if it were as easy as this to find the answer?  Researchers could stop looking for the reason for cancer. The answer would lie in the weakness that exists in the Caregiver. Find the weakness, create a vaccine and cancer, or disease, would be cured – no more suffering!

These "qualifications" apply to all who find themselves caring for a loved one - with any kind of cancer, or any disease. We aren't necessarily born with these, but we learn as we go along. We deal with what we must - everyday.    


  1. I wish some healthcare providers would try to do half of those things. You are an awesome woman, and an inspiration!

  2. Still here with all my hair:

    Why did you stop blogging? (Other than the fact that you have three (3!!!) boys!! I loved reading what you wrote.

    I'm just a caregiver are the awesome one!

    Thanks for taking time to read, and share.