Last night as I sat on our porch, with camera in hand, staring up at the "Supermoon", the old childhood rhyme seemed to sing in my head......
"I see the Moon
The Moon sees me
God bless the Moon
And God bless me".....and mine.....
For some reason today I've had one of those "down" days, and I'm not quite sure why. This day is not more unusual, or more different, from any other day. It's a quiet day, at our house. Bob lies on the sofa, as he does many days, intermittenly sleeping and waking.
Next Tuesday, after Chemo, he has an appointment with his PCP to try and determine what's going on with the rest of his body. He has no appetite and food makes him nauseous, so I've begun to precede every meal with either Phenergan or Ativan. The Ativan seems to work best, but either drug makes him sleepy. I'm also going to request that he be referred to a Physical Therapist. He was in pain for so long, and unable to move because of the pain, he's no longer limber - walking is a pain, so he shies away from it.
He had a couple of good days this past week, and I'm always so thankful when those come around. I'm not sure where the "feeling bad" days come from, but if they're interspersed with one or two good ones - I can deal with one or two bad ones! His blood work, this past week, was good so I try not to worry that it's the Myeloma.
I've spent quite a lot of time reading the blogs of other MM caregivers, like me. I realize that, in spite of the fact that my honey has cancer - we're still lucky. Lucky??? We've gotten his pain under control. He hasn't had Renal Failure. He's still with us. There's just something in his body that needs to be "tweaked". Maybe we'll find out, this next week, what that "something" is.
Last night, as I looked up at the moon - this bright moon that made my country yard look like it was dusk instead of almost midnite - I thought about the childhood rhyme. "I see the Moon, the Moon sees me, God bless the Moon, and God bless me". When we were kids we also talked about the "Man in the Moon", and we wondered if there were people on the Moon.
Today, I wonder if there is life on other planets and if so, do they also have the diseases we have? Do they have cancer? Do they have Multiple Myeloma? Have they found a cure for cancer? That's what I'd want to know, if there's life out there. That's would be my question.
So, I do want God to bless the Moon .....just in case!! And, I ask that he continue to bless us, everyone!
(And this is why I write.....it's my "antidepressant drug".....my Prozac, my Cymbalta, my whatever! By the time I finish putting it on paper.....I've forgotten that I was down in the dumps. Besides, I don't have time to be depressed!)