I check the blogs of several other Multiple Myeloma caregivers, and patients, and in doing so realized that I hadn't written anything in almost a month. That's good! Means that things are really pretty quiet on this MM front.
My honey finally recovered from the maladies that were plaguing him.....and it's evident by the fact that he's getting bored. He's ready to get back out into his shop. I've been pretty successful in getting him to wait until the weather is better and those shop doors can be open to allow the dust and fumes to escape. (No more pneumonia or bronchitis needed!)
Last week, our Gorrell RV Park was open for business and Sam and Ann Greco, friends for many years, came and spent the week with us. We always have a good time sharing the cooking chores and playing cards (Pegs 'n Jokers), at night. Finally, it was like old times ....... with Bob feeling good (B/C).
On Friday night, we had our first night out in many months. For Christmas, our PA daughter and her family had given us tickets to a Kenny G concert at the Beau Rivage, in Biloxi. We spent the night at the Marriott Courtyard. I'm the primary chauffeur, and I had no interest in a 2 hour drive home, late at night. It was a wonderful concert.......and made me feel like things were almost "normal". My honey now walks slow, can't do a lot, but we were "out and about"! (Went to 'Mikey's on the Bayou' in Ocean Springs and had delicious Gumbo and Shrimp PoBoys.)
Maybe we did too much. He hasn't felt very good the past couple of days but this is really how it goes, at our house. One day we're up, and the next we're down, even though his numbers still look good.
I think this is just how it goes.......with Multiple Myeloma.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Finally, the end is near.......
From the Friday before Christmas until now......"we" have been dealing with Pneumonia/Bronchitis. My honey spent one night, in the hospital, and I think the IV fluids/antibiotics did wonders to help turn him around and begin to get better. He isn't great about "sharing" information (I'm still searching for that class in ESP or mind-reading), but when you've lived with a man for over 50 years, you begin to be able to read some of the signs. He's talking more, and it doesn't seem to hurt so much when he gets up out of a chair (lungs are getting better).
He was supposed to use the Isometer every hour that he's awake .....and I'm just sure he's been awake for more than 2 - 4 hours in a day.....but that's about how much it has been used! I'm not sure why he hates that little device so much - but he does. My "Hester" stubborn streak (one of the things I inherited from my mother) appeared, and I decided that he is an adult.....knows he needs to do it.....so I'm not saying a word!! Thank goodness, he's getting better without it.
His appetite is non-existent and food makes him nauseous. This isn't anything brought on by the Bronchitis, so it's probably a side-effect of one of the antibiotics. Thank goodness, there are only a few days remaining. We're currently on an oatmeal, grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup diet.
If he HAS to be sick, winter is such a good time. It's a great time to stay indoors - lots of pajama days in front of the fire. How miserable it would be if the weather was good, and he didn't feel well enough to be oustide.
Now, not that I'm a pessimist, but I have to wonder.......what's coming next? We're finally nearing the end of this Pneumonia/Bronchitis thing......and I'm just hoping that there's nothing else planned (God's plan) for him, in the near future. Dear God....please let him be well, for a little while.
He was supposed to use the Isometer every hour that he's awake .....and I'm just sure he's been awake for more than 2 - 4 hours in a day.....but that's about how much it has been used! I'm not sure why he hates that little device so much - but he does. My "Hester" stubborn streak (one of the things I inherited from my mother) appeared, and I decided that he is an adult.....knows he needs to do it.....so I'm not saying a word!! Thank goodness, he's getting better without it.
His appetite is non-existent and food makes him nauseous. This isn't anything brought on by the Bronchitis, so it's probably a side-effect of one of the antibiotics. Thank goodness, there are only a few days remaining. We're currently on an oatmeal, grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup diet.
If he HAS to be sick, winter is such a good time. It's a great time to stay indoors - lots of pajama days in front of the fire. How miserable it would be if the weather was good, and he didn't feel well enough to be oustide.
Now, not that I'm a pessimist, but I have to wonder.......what's coming next? We're finally nearing the end of this Pneumonia/Bronchitis thing......and I'm just hoping that there's nothing else planned (God's plan) for him, in the near future. Dear God....please let him be well, for a little while.
Monday, December 26, 2011
An unwelcome surprise....again
My honey had been doing great - working in his shop, building beautiful Christmas gifts; oak serving trays, and oak hand mirrors with beveled glass. On Friday, December 2, he sat again in the Cancer Center....for almost 5 hours .....getting his monthly Zometa and IVIG infusions. The Zometa to strengthen his bones and the IVIG to boost his immune system.
Just 3 weeks later, on a Wednesday, he felt great. The next day, he didn't feel so well and by Friday (a couple of days before Christmas) in spite of the IVIG infusions to boost his immune system.....he had pneumonia, again.
We were in the Cancer Center and Dr. H. came into the waiting room to listen to his chest. He prescribed what I called "high-octane" antibiotics (2,500 mg. per day) and didn't think he needed to be in the hospital.
The kids weren't coming home this year, since the girls have been here several times to help when their dad has been in the hospital, so we've had a quiet Christmas (which is really what he needed).
I questioned why the IVIG would not have prevented this, and I was told if he had not had them, it might have been worse. He still doesn't feel good. His lungs hurt when he moves, or takes a deep breath, and his throat is sore .... but he isn't anywhere close to being as ill as he was in October, when he had to be helped from the bed to the bathroom.
Because the kids weren't coming home, I had made an "executive decision" not to put up the Christmas tree. It was very hard for me to do, alone, and Bob was unable to help. I had searched, without success, for a table top Fiber Optic tree, and finally decided this house would decorate.....without a tree. After he got sick, and my mind began to have those thoughts that one should never have, I decided that I needed to put up our tree. Mind you, this was just 2 nights before Christmas.....but in days of old, trees were put up and decorated on Christmas Eve!
So, on Friday night, after my honey went to bed.....out to the storage room I went (ignoring the fact that the Bobcat, or Panther, of Cohay Creek might be lurking). I told a friend, "I'm sure God has His hands full just trying to "redirect" my decisions". First, I couldn't get the storage room door completely open, and second there was no light. Needless to say, with all the obstacles there was no way the tree would get from the storage room to the living room. In the end, I think I was happy that God, or fate, had intervened.
As it turned out, we didn't need a tree. It was a quiet, peaceful Christmas Day at our house. And, I continue to be thankful for each day....and hope there will be many more.....days.....and Christmases.
Just 3 weeks later, on a Wednesday, he felt great. The next day, he didn't feel so well and by Friday (a couple of days before Christmas) in spite of the IVIG infusions to boost his immune system.....he had pneumonia, again.
We were in the Cancer Center and Dr. H. came into the waiting room to listen to his chest. He prescribed what I called "high-octane" antibiotics (2,500 mg. per day) and didn't think he needed to be in the hospital.
The kids weren't coming home this year, since the girls have been here several times to help when their dad has been in the hospital, so we've had a quiet Christmas (which is really what he needed).
I questioned why the IVIG would not have prevented this, and I was told if he had not had them, it might have been worse. He still doesn't feel good. His lungs hurt when he moves, or takes a deep breath, and his throat is sore .... but he isn't anywhere close to being as ill as he was in October, when he had to be helped from the bed to the bathroom.
Because the kids weren't coming home, I had made an "executive decision" not to put up the Christmas tree. It was very hard for me to do, alone, and Bob was unable to help. I had searched, without success, for a table top Fiber Optic tree, and finally decided this house would decorate.....without a tree. After he got sick, and my mind began to have those thoughts that one should never have, I decided that I needed to put up our tree. Mind you, this was just 2 nights before Christmas.....but in days of old, trees were put up and decorated on Christmas Eve!
So, on Friday night, after my honey went to bed.....out to the storage room I went (ignoring the fact that the Bobcat, or Panther, of Cohay Creek might be lurking). I told a friend, "I'm sure God has His hands full just trying to "redirect" my decisions". First, I couldn't get the storage room door completely open, and second there was no light. Needless to say, with all the obstacles there was no way the tree would get from the storage room to the living room. In the end, I think I was happy that God, or fate, had intervened.
As it turned out, we didn't need a tree. It was a quiet, peaceful Christmas Day at our house. And, I continue to be thankful for each day....and hope there will be many more.....days.....and Christmases.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Have I told you?
I began this blog as a way to release the fear that seemed to seep from every part of my body after I learned that my honey had Multiple Myeloma. It has often become my way to lighten the read, and the journey, by retelling the sometimes humorous antics that can occur with us. I often add medical data, notes and photos, as they've applied to my honey, whenever I feel that other MM patients, or their caregivers, may benefit from the information. Very seldom, if ever, do I delve deep into the medical field. I leave that to those who have been around this cancer longer than I, and are more knowledgeable bloggers like Margaret's Corner or Pat Killingsworth, or the MM Specialist like Dr. James Berenson, and so many others.
Often, when things aren't going well, when the pain feels as if it's ripping at my heart and tearing at my soul, I allow my feelings to pour onto the paper like water poured from a pitcher. As I wrote, in one of my first posts, it's okay to cry ......and it's okay for others to know that you cry. I have laid open my heart, and my soul, for all to read and understand how this terrible disease has affected me, and our family.
We who live with Multiple Myeloma live for each day and for a cure, but we also exist in reality. We know that life can change in a second. We are excited and can experience joy in the smallest of things - like an M-Spike (monoclonal protein) that has dropped even a tenth of a degree (it should be zero). On days when our loved one awakens, with a smile, and says "I feel good", it's as if a blessing has been bestowed on us. We love those days when things go so well that we can "almost" forget they have cancer. Those are the days when we turn our eyes heavenward and say "Thank you, Lord".
There are also those days when their pain is so unbearable that each step takes their breath away. Those days when we want to question and say "Why him, Lord?" Those days when the pain doesn't allow them to move, once they are settled and comfortable. Those days when you hear them whisper, "I don't think I can take this anymore." Those are the days that bring tears to your eyes, and a lump to your throat, and the days when I beg "Lord, please let me have him for just one more day."
Even though our numbers are spread across this United States and many countries of this world, we don't fight our battles alone. We have forged friendships through the many avenues made available to us on The Myeloma Beacon , and the Multiple Myeloma Support List at Acor, the responses in the forums on these websites are remarkable. The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation , founded by Kathy Giusti, herself a victim of Multiple Myeloma, is a non-profit organization which is not only leading the race in donations to find a cure for MM, but is educating the public about this terrible, incurable disease. And, of course, Facebook has forged friendships worldwide........strangers who have become friends, because of MM.
Two years ago, I knew nothing about Multiple Myeloma and the devastation and heartbreak it brings to families. I had no knowledge of Velcade or Revlimid or Dexamethasone. What were bone lesions? And, how painful could a compression fracture be? I didn't realize that pneumonia, or kidney failure; or something simple, like a sinus infection, could bring almost instant death.
This holiday season seemed to be hard on those with Myeloma, and for that reason I chose to write this blog. We become friends and soulmates because of the lot we've been given, and four of those friends did not make it through this holiday. There are those, with MM, that have lived for years.....and then, there are those, that God chose sooner. Each patient, each treatment is different. Why one lives longer than another, is yet unknown. We are only happy for the days we've been given, but we constantly pray for many more.
Gene Autry wrote the first version of this old western song, and over the years even though the lyrics have been changed by other vocalists, the meaning remains the same.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you lately that I care?
Have I told you lately that I need you?
Well, darling I'm telling you now.
It doesn't matter if you have Myeloma, or if you're fit as a fiddle.....it just never hurts to say........"Have I told you lately that I love you?"
And, most important, "Thank you, Lord, for another day."
Often, when things aren't going well, when the pain feels as if it's ripping at my heart and tearing at my soul, I allow my feelings to pour onto the paper like water poured from a pitcher. As I wrote, in one of my first posts, it's okay to cry ......and it's okay for others to know that you cry. I have laid open my heart, and my soul, for all to read and understand how this terrible disease has affected me, and our family.
We who live with Multiple Myeloma live for each day and for a cure, but we also exist in reality. We know that life can change in a second. We are excited and can experience joy in the smallest of things - like an M-Spike (monoclonal protein) that has dropped even a tenth of a degree (it should be zero). On days when our loved one awakens, with a smile, and says "I feel good", it's as if a blessing has been bestowed on us. We love those days when things go so well that we can "almost" forget they have cancer. Those are the days when we turn our eyes heavenward and say "Thank you, Lord".
There are also those days when their pain is so unbearable that each step takes their breath away. Those days when we want to question and say "Why him, Lord?" Those days when the pain doesn't allow them to move, once they are settled and comfortable. Those days when you hear them whisper, "I don't think I can take this anymore." Those are the days that bring tears to your eyes, and a lump to your throat, and the days when I beg "Lord, please let me have him for just one more day."
Even though our numbers are spread across this United States and many countries of this world, we don't fight our battles alone. We have forged friendships through the many avenues made available to us on The Myeloma Beacon , and the Multiple Myeloma Support List at Acor, the responses in the forums on these websites are remarkable. The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation , founded by Kathy Giusti, herself a victim of Multiple Myeloma, is a non-profit organization which is not only leading the race in donations to find a cure for MM, but is educating the public about this terrible, incurable disease. And, of course, Facebook has forged friendships worldwide........strangers who have become friends, because of MM.
Two years ago, I knew nothing about Multiple Myeloma and the devastation and heartbreak it brings to families. I had no knowledge of Velcade or Revlimid or Dexamethasone. What were bone lesions? And, how painful could a compression fracture be? I didn't realize that pneumonia, or kidney failure; or something simple, like a sinus infection, could bring almost instant death.
This holiday season seemed to be hard on those with Myeloma, and for that reason I chose to write this blog. We become friends and soulmates because of the lot we've been given, and four of those friends did not make it through this holiday. There are those, with MM, that have lived for years.....and then, there are those, that God chose sooner. Each patient, each treatment is different. Why one lives longer than another, is yet unknown. We are only happy for the days we've been given, but we constantly pray for many more.
Gene Autry wrote the first version of this old western song, and over the years even though the lyrics have been changed by other vocalists, the meaning remains the same.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you lately that I care?
Have I told you lately that I need you?
Well, darling I'm telling you now.
It doesn't matter if you have Myeloma, or if you're fit as a fiddle.....it just never hurts to say........"Have I told you lately that I love you?"
And, most important, "Thank you, Lord, for another day."
Sunday, November 27, 2011
A lack of confidence ......(Part Two)
Ever since Bob was diagnosed with cancer, his bones are pretty weak, he isn't very stable; which means that I'm left to do many of the heavy things around the house. If we take a trip, I load the car. If we end a trip, I unload the car. And I've almost grown to hate the RV, because it's like moving from one house to another.
And, because his reflexes aren't as good as they once were, I do the majority of the driving. His driving stints have been limited from home to town (4 miles) or maybe to Laurel (18 miles). Until this trip to Texas (this Thanksgiving), when we stopped to get gas. I came out of the station, from using the "necessity room" and there he sat, under the steering wheel - just grinning.
I said "Are you sure you feel like driving?" "Wouldn't you like for me to continue?" To which I received "Yes, I'm fine." and "No, I can do it." Did I think he was going to bound out from under that steering wheel and let me take over? No, but I certainly prayed that he would. We merged back onto I-20, headed west, with me sweating as profusely as if the western sun was baking me. Needless to say, it was a good case of nerves - mine.
After about twenty minutes of silence (mine). other than the deep sighs (mine), there wasn't a sound of noise in the car ......other than the rub-a-dub-dub when he'd go from one lane to the other and linger on the caution bumps between the lanes. He was "fiddling" with the gadgets, on the dash, trying to get everything set to his specifications, and I was watching the interstate with eagle eyes (just as if I was still in charge of the steering wheel) and clinging to the door handle with a deathlike grip. I'm not sure what good I thought either action would produce.
He'd get a little too close to one lane, or the other, and I'm sure the veins in my hand looked about to burst as I gripped the door. I was literally sitting on the edge of the seat. He lingered too long (or so I thought) on the rub-a-dub-dubs and was getting (or so I thought) too close to the 5th wheel in front of us. I'm not sure if I let out a "monumental sigh", or made a comment, but whatever I did, I soon found myself back under the steering wheel, with a very unhappy passenger! Now, how we got from me being the passenger to me being the driver shall forever go unmentioned. Let's just say, it wasn't a pretty sight and there were some words spoken (his).
We did drive for many miles in unspoken silence, but by the time we got to Texas, we had mended our fences. A couple doesn't stay married for 50 plus years without learning how to give and take. But admittedly, I had already begun to worry about that long drive back home. Who would sit under that wheel? Not that I'm the Danica Patrick of drivers (gotta' know NASCAR for this to mean anything), but I've been in control of the car for so many months - it has just become "my thing".
God does work in mysterious ways. We were in Texas less than 24 hours when I had a major head problem; blacking out and so dizzy I could have been a blonde (sorry, girls). Having had two cousins with malignant Glioblastomas, the thought crossed my mind that I could be in real trouble. However, a couple of trips to an ER, an overnight stay in the hospital, a CT Scan and an MRI proved there was nothing major going on in my head (I know there are many of you who are grinning and thinking "knew that all the time"). It was just a severe case of Vertigo (Inner Ear issues). We were advised that Texas should invite the Gorrells to stay a few more days, since my honey is unable to drive the entire distance. I probably wouldn't do any better than he did in keeping the car between the rub-a-dub-dubs. Nor did I feel like I could be in control of anything, especially a car! (Side note: For the first time, in years, I didn't have to cook Thanksgiving dinner!)
So after a few days rest, between the two of us we'll try to get this car, us, and everyone else on the interstate, back on home territory unscathed. And, I wonder if my honey will be as concerned about getting in the car with me, as I was with him. Yes, God really does work in mysterious ways. I'm so glad He allowed my dizzy spell to happen while my feet were on the ground rather than under the steering wheel.
Still working on building that sense of confidence! Stay tuned for "Lack of confidence .....Part Three"
And, because his reflexes aren't as good as they once were, I do the majority of the driving. His driving stints have been limited from home to town (4 miles) or maybe to Laurel (18 miles). Until this trip to Texas (this Thanksgiving), when we stopped to get gas. I came out of the station, from using the "necessity room" and there he sat, under the steering wheel - just grinning.
I said "Are you sure you feel like driving?" "Wouldn't you like for me to continue?" To which I received "Yes, I'm fine." and "No, I can do it." Did I think he was going to bound out from under that steering wheel and let me take over? No, but I certainly prayed that he would. We merged back onto I-20, headed west, with me sweating as profusely as if the western sun was baking me. Needless to say, it was a good case of nerves - mine.
After about twenty minutes of silence (mine). other than the deep sighs (mine), there wasn't a sound of noise in the car ......other than the rub-a-dub-dub when he'd go from one lane to the other and linger on the caution bumps between the lanes. He was "fiddling" with the gadgets, on the dash, trying to get everything set to his specifications, and I was watching the interstate with eagle eyes (just as if I was still in charge of the steering wheel) and clinging to the door handle with a deathlike grip. I'm not sure what good I thought either action would produce.
He'd get a little too close to one lane, or the other, and I'm sure the veins in my hand looked about to burst as I gripped the door. I was literally sitting on the edge of the seat. He lingered too long (or so I thought) on the rub-a-dub-dubs and was getting (or so I thought) too close to the 5th wheel in front of us. I'm not sure if I let out a "monumental sigh", or made a comment, but whatever I did, I soon found myself back under the steering wheel, with a very unhappy passenger! Now, how we got from me being the passenger to me being the driver shall forever go unmentioned. Let's just say, it wasn't a pretty sight and there were some words spoken (his).
We did drive for many miles in unspoken silence, but by the time we got to Texas, we had mended our fences. A couple doesn't stay married for 50 plus years without learning how to give and take. But admittedly, I had already begun to worry about that long drive back home. Who would sit under that wheel? Not that I'm the Danica Patrick of drivers (gotta' know NASCAR for this to mean anything), but I've been in control of the car for so many months - it has just become "my thing".
God does work in mysterious ways. We were in Texas less than 24 hours when I had a major head problem; blacking out and so dizzy I could have been a blonde (sorry, girls). Having had two cousins with malignant Glioblastomas, the thought crossed my mind that I could be in real trouble. However, a couple of trips to an ER, an overnight stay in the hospital, a CT Scan and an MRI proved there was nothing major going on in my head (I know there are many of you who are grinning and thinking "knew that all the time"). It was just a severe case of Vertigo (Inner Ear issues). We were advised that Texas should invite the Gorrells to stay a few more days, since my honey is unable to drive the entire distance. I probably wouldn't do any better than he did in keeping the car between the rub-a-dub-dubs. Nor did I feel like I could be in control of anything, especially a car! (Side note: For the first time, in years, I didn't have to cook Thanksgiving dinner!)
So after a few days rest, between the two of us we'll try to get this car, us, and everyone else on the interstate, back on home territory unscathed. And, I wonder if my honey will be as concerned about getting in the car with me, as I was with him. Yes, God really does work in mysterious ways. I'm so glad He allowed my dizzy spell to happen while my feet were on the ground rather than under the steering wheel.
Still working on building that sense of confidence! Stay tuned for "Lack of confidence .....Part Three"
Saturday, November 19, 2011
A lack of confidence (mine).....
About the first part of August, 2010, my honey closed up his shop. For years, he had designed and built cabinets, woodwork, furniture, mirrors - almost anything one could imagine; he could draw and build. His shop contained every type of power tool imaginable.
We were going to celebrate our anniversary and then take a long trip, in our RV. When we returned, he'd reopen his shop and go back to his building. Little did we know that fate had other plans. MM intervened and the shop continued to be silent until the first part of this week, over a year after it had been closed.
Before retiring, I was a software consultant and a road warrior. I traveled, for my job. My work week usually began on Sunday night when Bob would drive me to the airport, and I would fly out, and it ended on Friday when I flew back in. For almost twenty years, that was our routine. And while I was away, Bob's work continued in his shop ......without me.
Not until this week has he felt well enough, or been well enough, to even think about plans and wood and tools. And truthfully, I was always concerned that the wood dust (he never wore a mask), or the glue, paint or paint thinner might, in some way, have contributed to his cancer.
When he began to start flipping through the pages of his Woodworking Magazines, my heart swelled. I knew he was beginning to feel well enough that he was "itching" to get back to his tools and the wood. A love of building had been inherited from his grandfather and his father. It was in his blood and strangely enough, that's where his cancer is.
This week he opened the shop and for the first time in over a year, the sounds of the saw, and sander, and planer emanated from the shop. How wonderful! But little did I know how skittish I would be about him returning to something that he had done for years......without me being around.
Never before had I felt the need to go and sit in his shop, while he worked. I had never "hovered". But now, it was almost as if I HAD to be there......watching over him. I found myself telling him to "be careful", and worrying that he would get too tired. He hadn't been out of the hospital but a couple of weeks, and before that he'd pretty much been a couch potato. Was he really strong enough to do this? He had been working with power tools for years, but I found myself actually being afraid that he would cut himself. (Kept that little bit of news to myself!)
I had been a big proponent of him getting exercise, getting up out of his chair, doing something.....and now that he was, I was worried. Was he doing too much, too soon?
He finally told me that I was acting like a "mother hen". He was trying to get back to normal - his kind of normal. And, I needed to do the same. I just had to have confidence in him, and his readiness to do this.
I was happy that he was building up his strength, and that the pain in his legs was becoming less frequent - which meant that his need for pain medication was also becoming less frequent. He also knew that he couldn't take pain meds and work with his power tools.
He had confidence in himself and his ability to return to normal .......now, I must work on my confidence, and in the fact that he really would be okay among those saws, and sanders, and planers! I'm working on my confidence ..... even if it takes valium to do it!!! (Just kidding!)
We were going to celebrate our anniversary and then take a long trip, in our RV. When we returned, he'd reopen his shop and go back to his building. Little did we know that fate had other plans. MM intervened and the shop continued to be silent until the first part of this week, over a year after it had been closed.
Before retiring, I was a software consultant and a road warrior. I traveled, for my job. My work week usually began on Sunday night when Bob would drive me to the airport, and I would fly out, and it ended on Friday when I flew back in. For almost twenty years, that was our routine. And while I was away, Bob's work continued in his shop ......without me.
Not until this week has he felt well enough, or been well enough, to even think about plans and wood and tools. And truthfully, I was always concerned that the wood dust (he never wore a mask), or the glue, paint or paint thinner might, in some way, have contributed to his cancer.
When he began to start flipping through the pages of his Woodworking Magazines, my heart swelled. I knew he was beginning to feel well enough that he was "itching" to get back to his tools and the wood. A love of building had been inherited from his grandfather and his father. It was in his blood and strangely enough, that's where his cancer is.
This week he opened the shop and for the first time in over a year, the sounds of the saw, and sander, and planer emanated from the shop. How wonderful! But little did I know how skittish I would be about him returning to something that he had done for years......without me being around.
Never before had I felt the need to go and sit in his shop, while he worked. I had never "hovered". But now, it was almost as if I HAD to be there......watching over him. I found myself telling him to "be careful", and worrying that he would get too tired. He hadn't been out of the hospital but a couple of weeks, and before that he'd pretty much been a couch potato. Was he really strong enough to do this? He had been working with power tools for years, but I found myself actually being afraid that he would cut himself. (Kept that little bit of news to myself!)
I had been a big proponent of him getting exercise, getting up out of his chair, doing something.....and now that he was, I was worried. Was he doing too much, too soon?
He finally told me that I was acting like a "mother hen". He was trying to get back to normal - his kind of normal. And, I needed to do the same. I just had to have confidence in him, and his readiness to do this.
I was happy that he was building up his strength, and that the pain in his legs was becoming less frequent - which meant that his need for pain medication was also becoming less frequent. He also knew that he couldn't take pain meds and work with his power tools.
He had confidence in himself and his ability to return to normal .......now, I must work on my confidence, and in the fact that he really would be okay among those saws, and sanders, and planers! I'm working on my confidence ..... even if it takes valium to do it!!! (Just kidding!)
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Smoking, Liquor or Myeloma.....
So much has been written lately, on Multiple Myeloma websites, about potential breakthroughs into the mystery of MM. The cause of this incurable type of cancer is unknown, but it has been mentioned that it "could be" caused by Pesticides, Herbicides, Petroleum based products, Wood Dust, and/or Agent Orange. (My honey has been exposed to all except Agent Orange.)
Of course, no one really knows the reason for MM......but it has also been stated (by New Zealand researchers) that people raised on Livestock farms may be more susceptible to blood cancers (of which Multiple Myeloma is one). http://www.medpagetoday.com/HematologyOncology/Hematology/27796 (My honey wasn't "raised" on a livestock farm; but he was a livestock farmer. So, are our daughters in danger?)
And then there's Dr. Bradner, of the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, who helped to create a hybrid molecule which has been named JQ1. This molecule is thought to attack the cancer cells and make them become normal (I'm paraphrasing and stating this in layman's terms). Mice (not sure if they were The Three Blind, or not) were injected with Myeloma cells and then the hybrid Molecule. The mice that were injected lived, mice that were not injected with the Molecule JQ1, died. Dr. Bradner shared his findings with 40 labs, in the US, and 30 in Europe - many of them pharmaceutical companies. Hopefully, this will soon be turned into a pill and can be tested in humans. Amazing! The possibility of an oral drug which will make a cancer cell think it's a normal cell!
http://www.ted.com/talks/jay_bradner_open_source_cancer_research.html
(The transcript of Dr. Bradner's talk can be found on the right-hand side of the page.
Vaxil, a drug company in Israel, is in the process of developing a vaccine http://unitedwithisrael.org/israel-develops-cancer-vaccine/ and testing it against MM. This vaccine is supposed to treat cancer, and keep it from returning. Of course, this will have to be approved in the US by the FDA, and go through clinical trials here in the USA. Admittedly, it's a long way out........but perhaps there will be hope for someone, somewhere down the line.
Rhubarb, a plant typically grown in cooler climates (Midwestern and Northern states in the spring) has a compound Bipterostilbene which seems to significantly inhibit proliferation of myeloma cells and has been said to EXTERMINATE myeloma cells.
http://ash.confex.com/ash/2011/webprogram/Paper42196.html
The plant stalk, which is very tart, is the only edible portion since the leaves are toxic. Usually, the stalk is combined with strawberries (Strawberry Rhubarb Pie or Strawberry Rhubarb Jam). The Chinese have used rhubarb, for centuries, as a laxative. I wonder how prevalent Multiple Myeloma is among their people?
A Florida State University Researcher has discovered that eating dried plums (prunes) helps to prevent fractures and osteoporosis.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/08/110818093048.htm
The testing was performed on two groups of postmenopausal women, but eating this fruit can't hurt MM men, either. And, it was believed that eating the fruit even reversed some of the bone loss. My honey isn't much of a "prune fan" but think of the "other" benefits (no laxatives needed)!
My favorite article was on the website http://www.medpagetoday.com/ where it was stated that smoking and drinking liquor appears to "reduce" the risk of Multiple Myeloma. http://www.medpagetoday.com/clinical-context/MultipleMyeloma/29308 Thankfully, since I don't smoke (and don't intend to start) it seems that liquor has the greatest benefit. My honey has always been a teetotaler, so everything I said in the first paragraph just goes down the drain. It wasn't the pesticides or herbicides or wood dust or petroleum based products (paints and paint thinners) - it was his not drinking that caused it! I'm now sure if he'd taken a snort every now and then, we wouldn't be facing this problem!! Of course, this study didn't reveal how many of the smokers ended up with lung cancer, or how many of the drinkers became alcoholics. They just didn't have Multiple Myeloma!
Molecules, Vaccines, Rhubarb Pie, Prunes, Liquor......if it isn't one thing, it's another. Just never know what may be coming down the pike and what might work. But please excuse me while I put my computer away and go get my glass of wine. If liquor works, I'm sure wine does, too!!
Of course, no one really knows the reason for MM......but it has also been stated (by New Zealand researchers) that people raised on Livestock farms may be more susceptible to blood cancers (of which Multiple Myeloma is one). http://www.medpagetoday.com/HematologyOncology/Hematology/27796 (My honey wasn't "raised" on a livestock farm; but he was a livestock farmer. So, are our daughters in danger?)
And then there's Dr. Bradner, of the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, who helped to create a hybrid molecule which has been named JQ1. This molecule is thought to attack the cancer cells and make them become normal (I'm paraphrasing and stating this in layman's terms). Mice (not sure if they were The Three Blind, or not) were injected with Myeloma cells and then the hybrid Molecule. The mice that were injected lived, mice that were not injected with the Molecule JQ1, died. Dr. Bradner shared his findings with 40 labs, in the US, and 30 in Europe - many of them pharmaceutical companies. Hopefully, this will soon be turned into a pill and can be tested in humans. Amazing! The possibility of an oral drug which will make a cancer cell think it's a normal cell!
http://www.ted.com/talks/jay_bradner_open_source_cancer_research.html
(The transcript of Dr. Bradner's talk can be found on the right-hand side of the page.
Vaxil, a drug company in Israel, is in the process of developing a vaccine http://unitedwithisrael.org/israel-develops-cancer-vaccine/ and testing it against MM. This vaccine is supposed to treat cancer, and keep it from returning. Of course, this will have to be approved in the US by the FDA, and go through clinical trials here in the USA. Admittedly, it's a long way out........but perhaps there will be hope for someone, somewhere down the line.
http://ash.confex.com/ash/2011/webprogram/Paper42196.html
The plant stalk, which is very tart, is the only edible portion since the leaves are toxic. Usually, the stalk is combined with strawberries (Strawberry Rhubarb Pie or Strawberry Rhubarb Jam). The Chinese have used rhubarb, for centuries, as a laxative. I wonder how prevalent Multiple Myeloma is among their people?
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/08/110818093048.htm
The testing was performed on two groups of postmenopausal women, but eating this fruit can't hurt MM men, either. And, it was believed that eating the fruit even reversed some of the bone loss. My honey isn't much of a "prune fan" but think of the "other" benefits (no laxatives needed)!
My favorite article was on the website http://www.medpagetoday.com/ where it was stated that smoking and drinking liquor appears to "reduce" the risk of Multiple Myeloma. http://www.medpagetoday.com/clinical-context/MultipleMyeloma/29308 Thankfully, since I don't smoke (and don't intend to start) it seems that liquor has the greatest benefit. My honey has always been a teetotaler, so everything I said in the first paragraph just goes down the drain. It wasn't the pesticides or herbicides or wood dust or petroleum based products (paints and paint thinners) - it was his not drinking that caused it! I'm now sure if he'd taken a snort every now and then, we wouldn't be facing this problem!! Of course, this study didn't reveal how many of the smokers ended up with lung cancer, or how many of the drinkers became alcoholics. They just didn't have Multiple Myeloma!
Molecules, Vaccines, Rhubarb Pie, Prunes, Liquor......if it isn't one thing, it's another. Just never know what may be coming down the pike and what might work. But please excuse me while I put my computer away and go get my glass of wine. If liquor works, I'm sure wine does, too!!
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