I decided that, maybe if Bob had someone to look at (other than this face he's been seeing for 50 years!), he might forget his MM, his pain, and how miserable he'd been feeling. I began to "schedule" visitors, and lucky for them, my cooking has gotten pretty good since retirement! (Maybe Cousin Pat wasn't so sure - she brought food!) And, it was much appreciated.
On Friday, the Fentanyl Patches seemed to be causing confusion and not relieving the pain. Of course this would happen, the weekend was upon us! I think I may apply for a Government Grant to study why pain is always worse at night, or on the weekend! I called the Cancer Center and was able to speak to his Oncologist's nurse. I asked if I could give him a "light" dose of the Decadron that I had on hand, to get him through the weekend, since that is the one drug that seems to appease the pain. She approved 12 mg. x 3. I gave him the 12 mg. on Friday, and 12 mg. on Saturday and continued the 6 mg. of Dilaudid every 4 hours.
Saturday, Sam and Ann Greco, friends across the years visited. Ann and I visited and also listened to some of the same old tales. (Bob and Sam were high school friends, have maintained contact through the years, and haven't forgotten one thing that happened to them eons ago!) In the afternoon, Bob's sister, Ginny, arrived knowing that she might get "snowed in" with us. The winter weather that had been making its way across the midwest turned southward. We didn't get much in our area of the state, but it certainly gave the weather commentators something to look forward to.
This morning, we headed to Hattiesburg so that Bob could get measured for a "custom back brace". As someone has written, so often MM patients must endure "experiments". What works for one MM patient may not work for another - so much of the time, it seems to be trial and error, or trial and fail.
What a great experience at Hanger Brace. Bob was measured and fitted by such a nice young man. It's too early to tell if this experiment will work, but today has been bearable. He commented that if it got no worse than this, he could stand the pain. Of course, he has accumulated 24 mg. of steroids in his body since Friday, and he still has the Dilaudid - so the back brace gets no credit just yet!
Will the back brace work? Will the time come when he tries the back brace without the pain meds? Will he ever be able to get off the pain meds? Questions, questions, questions!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
No miracles today.....
Bob and I had both hoped that today would be the answer to our prayer. We arrived early for his appointment with the Neurological Spine Specialist, and were called back to the examining room early; and then we sat for over an hour awaiting the doctor.
I soon learned why we'd waited so long. Here was another doctor willing to give us his undivided attention for however long it took. He had a beautiful French accent and a great bedside manner, but alas he was not able to perform the miracles for which we had waited.
He informed us that he didn't think the Compression Fracture in the L1 was responsible for all the excruciating pain Bob was experiencing, because it was too small. Because the Multiple Myeloma attacks and weakens the bones, he thought that the pain was coming from the cancer. He suggested there is a possiblity that there are tumors in his bones. The MM weakens the bones to the point that the spine is unable to support the body, thereby creating and causing unbearable pain - especially when Bob is up and on his feet.
The doctor ordered a Flexation Extension Xray on the Lumbar spine, and a CT Scan of the Lumbar Spine just to ensure that there are no other issues. He suggested that a custom back brace might be in order, to help support the spine and help the spine support the weight of Bob's body. So, tomorrow he goes to be measured for a back brace. This will be another in the long list of "things we've tried" to appease the "Gods of Pain".
Dr. Benae told us that there was nothing else he could do. There were no surgical procedures that could be performed - no magic. If the back brace did not work he would suggest an Injection Specialist (Pain Management). Steroids could be injected into the bone, in the area of the pain. When asked how long the effects of the procedure would last, his answer was "3 months, 6 months, or 1 week". Knowing how bad Bob's back hurts, and how ineffective all the drugs have been ......I knew which answers his would be, and I didn't like it. We asked about a Nerve Block and he responded that there was nothing pressing on the nerves, so he doubted that would help.
Through all the Chemo, Bob has never been nauseated. Today, I had to pull over to the side of the road - and he was sick, for the first time. I knew that all the pent up emotions, and all the hope that had been focused on this day, had caused this. He could no longer hold it in.
He has had manageable pain since noon Sunday (after the trip to the ER, and the steroid injection). We have tried to "stay ahead" of the pain with the 3 Fentanyl patches and the 6 mg of Dilauded every four hours. Is there a possibility that his body is adjusting? Maybe the injection helped to break the pain cycle, and the drugs are able to keep up. Whatever the reason, please God .....let him have one more night without pain.
And, it's time to say "thank you" for all your thoughts, prayers, support, calls, and love. Without you, this journey would be even harder than it is.
I soon learned why we'd waited so long. Here was another doctor willing to give us his undivided attention for however long it took. He had a beautiful French accent and a great bedside manner, but alas he was not able to perform the miracles for which we had waited.
He informed us that he didn't think the Compression Fracture in the L1 was responsible for all the excruciating pain Bob was experiencing, because it was too small. Because the Multiple Myeloma attacks and weakens the bones, he thought that the pain was coming from the cancer. He suggested there is a possiblity that there are tumors in his bones. The MM weakens the bones to the point that the spine is unable to support the body, thereby creating and causing unbearable pain - especially when Bob is up and on his feet.
The doctor ordered a Flexation Extension Xray on the Lumbar spine, and a CT Scan of the Lumbar Spine just to ensure that there are no other issues. He suggested that a custom back brace might be in order, to help support the spine and help the spine support the weight of Bob's body. So, tomorrow he goes to be measured for a back brace. This will be another in the long list of "things we've tried" to appease the "Gods of Pain".
Dr. Benae told us that there was nothing else he could do. There were no surgical procedures that could be performed - no magic. If the back brace did not work he would suggest an Injection Specialist (Pain Management). Steroids could be injected into the bone, in the area of the pain. When asked how long the effects of the procedure would last, his answer was "3 months, 6 months, or 1 week". Knowing how bad Bob's back hurts, and how ineffective all the drugs have been ......I knew which answers his would be, and I didn't like it. We asked about a Nerve Block and he responded that there was nothing pressing on the nerves, so he doubted that would help.
Through all the Chemo, Bob has never been nauseated. Today, I had to pull over to the side of the road - and he was sick, for the first time. I knew that all the pent up emotions, and all the hope that had been focused on this day, had caused this. He could no longer hold it in.
He has had manageable pain since noon Sunday (after the trip to the ER, and the steroid injection). We have tried to "stay ahead" of the pain with the 3 Fentanyl patches and the 6 mg of Dilauded every four hours. Is there a possibility that his body is adjusting? Maybe the injection helped to break the pain cycle, and the drugs are able to keep up. Whatever the reason, please God .....let him have one more night without pain.
And, it's time to say "thank you" for all your thoughts, prayers, support, calls, and love. Without you, this journey would be even harder than it is.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
A beautiful pain free day.....
Our Saturday night "after midnite" visit to the ER - strange doctor - 125 mg. of Medrol (steroid) has worked wonders. My honey has been without his horrendous, unrelenting back and leg pain since about mid-morning on Sunday. We always look forward to Tuesdays, since it's Chemo, and 20 mg. of Dex, day. He gets out of bed, looking for those 5 little white pills, which are worth their weight in gold. They take him, pain free, until about Thursday noon.
In preparation for the pain we expect to return, he also has 3 - 50 mcg Fentanyl patches on his back, and continues to take the 6 mg. of Delaudid every 4 hours.
His lab numbers are still good. WBC = 9.70 which is within the normal range. RBC = 3.63, HGB = 11.6, and HCT = 32.9 all are still lower than they should be, but are continuing to improve each week. His Platelets are 215,000 and finally in
the normal range. His M-Spike is 0.3, and the light chains are normal (Free Kappa Lt Chain = 11.74, Free Lambda Lt Chain = 11.26, and Kappa/Lambda Ratio = 1.04. These numbers mean that he's almost in remission!
He has two more Chemo treatments in this Cycle, and then a possibility of heading to Dallas for the SCT Autologus (harvesting of his own Stem Cells) workup.
Thursday, we will meet with a Neurological Spine Specialist to learn if there's anything, other than drugs, to combat the constant pain in his back and legs. Keeping our fingers crossed, and saying lots of prayers, that this will be a "Miracle visit".
This afternoon, we sat in the rocking chairs on our front porch, and soaked up the warm, wonderful sun. Almost impossible to believe that it's January 4th, and we were able to sit outside in short sleeves! A small bird (if it's not red, blue, or a hummingbird, I can't identify it!) perched on my new filled feeder, and ate as if it had had nothing all winter. A 7 or 8 point Buck ran across the front yard, and into the woods, oblivious to us. Occasionally, the wind brushed the tops of the tall pines that stand guard beside the house. And, for that hour, we forgot that things weren't normal.
We've learned to take nothing for granted, including the fact that he's almost in remission. And, we're thankful for each and every day.........especially those with no pain!!
In preparation for the pain we expect to return, he also has 3 - 50 mcg Fentanyl patches on his back, and continues to take the 6 mg. of Delaudid every 4 hours.
His lab numbers are still good. WBC = 9.70 which is within the normal range. RBC = 3.63, HGB = 11.6, and HCT = 32.9 all are still lower than they should be, but are continuing to improve each week. His Platelets are 215,000 and finally in
the normal range. His M-Spike is 0.3, and the light chains are normal (Free Kappa Lt Chain = 11.74, Free Lambda Lt Chain = 11.26, and Kappa/Lambda Ratio = 1.04. These numbers mean that he's almost in remission!
He has two more Chemo treatments in this Cycle, and then a possibility of heading to Dallas for the SCT Autologus (harvesting of his own Stem Cells) workup.
Thursday, we will meet with a Neurological Spine Specialist to learn if there's anything, other than drugs, to combat the constant pain in his back and legs. Keeping our fingers crossed, and saying lots of prayers, that this will be a "Miracle visit".
This afternoon, we sat in the rocking chairs on our front porch, and soaked up the warm, wonderful sun. Almost impossible to believe that it's January 4th, and we were able to sit outside in short sleeves! A small bird (if it's not red, blue, or a hummingbird, I can't identify it!) perched on my new filled feeder, and ate as if it had had nothing all winter. A 7 or 8 point Buck ran across the front yard, and into the woods, oblivious to us. Occasionally, the wind brushed the tops of the tall pines that stand guard beside the house. And, for that hour, we forgot that things weren't normal.
We've learned to take nothing for granted, including the fact that he's almost in remission. And, we're thankful for each and every day.........especially those with no pain!!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Another day, of pain.....
As the days pass, the pain in Bob's lower back and legs seems to get worse. I've not quite figured out why the days can be acceptable, and the nights unbearable. He looks forward to the one day in the week when he has Chemo and 20 mg. of Decadron (steroid). As strange as it seems, even though the steroids make the bones thinner and weaker, they are the one med that stops the pain .....for a couple of days.
The 45 mg of Morphine and later, the 50 mcg Fentanyl Pain Patch, does very little to appease the "Gods of Pain". Every 4 hours, round-the-clock, he also gets 6 mg. of Delaudid - and I could just as well flush it down the toilet for all the good it seems to do. There had also been the Vertebroplasty Procedure (bone cement injected into the fracture), and a Bisphosphonate (Zometa) injection to strengthen the bones and help with the pain - neither of which had worked. Our little pill of choice has become the Phenergan (for nausea), for it brings on sleep for a few minutes, or if we're lucky, sometimes an hour. And then, the pain returns even worse than before.
The pain has gotten so bad that it now affects his appetite - which has never been a problem. And, my concern is that he'll become dehydrated - so I search for signs in his face and on his body, and I read and research the web to ensure that I'm not missing something.
He goes to bed, at night, and I hold my breath .....praying that this will be the one night when he can sleep, free of pain. I sit in the living room, and I hear the bedroom door open, knowing that this is going to be another long night. He has never complained, never asked "why me?", so when the tears appear in his eyes, and he says "I can't stand this, anymore".....my heart breaks. I've done everything that we can do, and I've given every pill that can be given. I've massaged him with Bengay, even though the pain is in his bones ......and I know it only helps the muscles and not the bones.. I've wrapped him in ice wraps, and I've kept the heating pad by his chair.
Finally, I suggest that we make a trip to the ER. I call the Cancer Center and talk to the Oncologist that's on call. He agrees to my suggestion that we come in, even though we'll only be treated by the Hospitalist. Maybe they can do something to break the pain cycle. We can only hope. I know that his pain is unbearable, or he'd never agree to an "after midnight" trip to the hospital.
We arrive at the ER shortly after 2:15 a.m. and wait in Triage because all the 40+ beds in ER are filled. He hasn't had a stroke, and he isn't having a heart attack - he "just has cancer" and is in pain. We fall to the bottom of the list behind the crying babies, and the woman who didn't know she was pregnant, but had a baby in the public restroom.
After two hours and several questions of when we'll be treated, I tell the nurse that I have his pain meds in the car - he's in terrible pain, and I'm going out to get them, and give them to him. Within less than 5 minutes, the doctor that was visiting with a group of nurses, came rushing into the room. (Guess that trick only works if you're in pain and mention treating yourself.)
Apparently, it had been a long Saturday night in the ER so I wasn't sure if the man standing beside the bed was a newbie, or if he'd just done all the thinking he could do. He had on scrubs, but he truly looked a little out-of-place. After I went through Bob's MM history, and the meds that we'd tried without success, the expression on the doctor's face became blank. I knew there would be no miracles performed, in that ER room on this night (or morning)......not by this doctor, anyway. I had hoped to hear "why don't we try"......instead, I heard "what would you like for me to give him?" I knew it was a reasonable question, but I had hoped that for just this small timeframe someone would have a billiant idea that would fix everything.
I suggested that the steroids were the only thing that had stopped the pain, so he offered that he could give Bob 125 mg. of Medrol. Not as strong as the Decadron he gets on Chemo day, but strong enough to provide some relief. At that moment my up to that minute practically comatose hubby decided to throw a rock through the window (so to speak). He looked at this man in scrubs and asked "will this hurt my kidneys?" That almost did it. The poor man now didn't know if he should give him the steroids......why had this question been asked......was there a kidney problem? At this point, he offered that he could give Bob Toradol! Now, we've had morphine, delaudid and a Fentanyl pain patch - none of which work......so Toradol will be the magic drug??? No!! I suggest that the steroids really will be okay. Yes, they can harm the kidneys but so can the Chemo and so can the cancer.
The nurse arrives with the Medrol and a needle and begins to administer what I hope will be the magical drug. Later, the doctor returns and asks if I want another 125 mg......or do I want blood work, or a CT Scan, or an MRI? It's been a long night, and I haven't been to bed, so I only want to go home with my very painful hubby ....and hope this takes the pain away, very soon.
As I drive home, I wish there were automatic pilots for cars - like planes. I feel as if I can sleep forever. Six hours after leaving our driveway, we arrive back home, and I'm now wide awake! My honey has expected miracles, but is still in unbearable pain, so I pull out the little magic pill (phenergan), knowing that he'll sleep for a little while. Maybe he'll wake up with no pain. Finally, approximately 5 or 6 hours after it was given, the steroid takes effect.
He sits in his recliner, and sleeps, and I watch closely to ensure that he's breathing, and that his color is good. I notice that his eyelids are much darker than they should be. A quick search of the internet tells me that this is one of the signs of dehydration. His appetite hasn't been good, and he hasn't been drinking the 64 - 80 ounces of fluid, daily. Periodically, I awaken him and urge him to drink - and I threaten him with going back to the ER, if he doesn't!!
We need a better, longterm solution for his pain. His cancer is almost in remission, but the damage that it has accomplished on his bones will not, cannot, be reversed. I cry because the vibrant, energetic man that used to live in our house is a prisoner to his own body. I cry because he's in pain, and I can do nothing. I pray for a miracle, and I pray for strength, for both of us to endure.
Yes, Multiple Myeloma is treatable ......it just may be the other things that aren't.
The 45 mg of Morphine and later, the 50 mcg Fentanyl Pain Patch, does very little to appease the "Gods of Pain". Every 4 hours, round-the-clock, he also gets 6 mg. of Delaudid - and I could just as well flush it down the toilet for all the good it seems to do. There had also been the Vertebroplasty Procedure (bone cement injected into the fracture), and a Bisphosphonate (Zometa) injection to strengthen the bones and help with the pain - neither of which had worked. Our little pill of choice has become the Phenergan (for nausea), for it brings on sleep for a few minutes, or if we're lucky, sometimes an hour. And then, the pain returns even worse than before.
The pain has gotten so bad that it now affects his appetite - which has never been a problem. And, my concern is that he'll become dehydrated - so I search for signs in his face and on his body, and I read and research the web to ensure that I'm not missing something.
He goes to bed, at night, and I hold my breath .....praying that this will be the one night when he can sleep, free of pain. I sit in the living room, and I hear the bedroom door open, knowing that this is going to be another long night. He has never complained, never asked "why me?", so when the tears appear in his eyes, and he says "I can't stand this, anymore".....my heart breaks. I've done everything that we can do, and I've given every pill that can be given. I've massaged him with Bengay, even though the pain is in his bones ......and I know it only helps the muscles and not the bones.. I've wrapped him in ice wraps, and I've kept the heating pad by his chair.
Finally, I suggest that we make a trip to the ER. I call the Cancer Center and talk to the Oncologist that's on call. He agrees to my suggestion that we come in, even though we'll only be treated by the Hospitalist. Maybe they can do something to break the pain cycle. We can only hope. I know that his pain is unbearable, or he'd never agree to an "after midnight" trip to the hospital.
We arrive at the ER shortly after 2:15 a.m. and wait in Triage because all the 40+ beds in ER are filled. He hasn't had a stroke, and he isn't having a heart attack - he "just has cancer" and is in pain. We fall to the bottom of the list behind the crying babies, and the woman who didn't know she was pregnant, but had a baby in the public restroom.
After two hours and several questions of when we'll be treated, I tell the nurse that I have his pain meds in the car - he's in terrible pain, and I'm going out to get them, and give them to him. Within less than 5 minutes, the doctor that was visiting with a group of nurses, came rushing into the room. (Guess that trick only works if you're in pain and mention treating yourself.)
Apparently, it had been a long Saturday night in the ER so I wasn't sure if the man standing beside the bed was a newbie, or if he'd just done all the thinking he could do. He had on scrubs, but he truly looked a little out-of-place. After I went through Bob's MM history, and the meds that we'd tried without success, the expression on the doctor's face became blank. I knew there would be no miracles performed, in that ER room on this night (or morning)......not by this doctor, anyway. I had hoped to hear "why don't we try"......instead, I heard "what would you like for me to give him?" I knew it was a reasonable question, but I had hoped that for just this small timeframe someone would have a billiant idea that would fix everything.
I suggested that the steroids were the only thing that had stopped the pain, so he offered that he could give Bob 125 mg. of Medrol. Not as strong as the Decadron he gets on Chemo day, but strong enough to provide some relief. At that moment my up to that minute practically comatose hubby decided to throw a rock through the window (so to speak). He looked at this man in scrubs and asked "will this hurt my kidneys?" That almost did it. The poor man now didn't know if he should give him the steroids......why had this question been asked......was there a kidney problem? At this point, he offered that he could give Bob Toradol! Now, we've had morphine, delaudid and a Fentanyl pain patch - none of which work......so Toradol will be the magic drug??? No!! I suggest that the steroids really will be okay. Yes, they can harm the kidneys but so can the Chemo and so can the cancer.
The nurse arrives with the Medrol and a needle and begins to administer what I hope will be the magical drug. Later, the doctor returns and asks if I want another 125 mg......or do I want blood work, or a CT Scan, or an MRI? It's been a long night, and I haven't been to bed, so I only want to go home with my very painful hubby ....and hope this takes the pain away, very soon.
As I drive home, I wish there were automatic pilots for cars - like planes. I feel as if I can sleep forever. Six hours after leaving our driveway, we arrive back home, and I'm now wide awake! My honey has expected miracles, but is still in unbearable pain, so I pull out the little magic pill (phenergan), knowing that he'll sleep for a little while. Maybe he'll wake up with no pain. Finally, approximately 5 or 6 hours after it was given, the steroid takes effect.
He sits in his recliner, and sleeps, and I watch closely to ensure that he's breathing, and that his color is good. I notice that his eyelids are much darker than they should be. A quick search of the internet tells me that this is one of the signs of dehydration. His appetite hasn't been good, and he hasn't been drinking the 64 - 80 ounces of fluid, daily. Periodically, I awaken him and urge him to drink - and I threaten him with going back to the ER, if he doesn't!!
We need a better, longterm solution for his pain. His cancer is almost in remission, but the damage that it has accomplished on his bones will not, cannot, be reversed. I cry because the vibrant, energetic man that used to live in our house is a prisoner to his own body. I cry because he's in pain, and I can do nothing. I pray for a miracle, and I pray for strength, for both of us to endure.
Yes, Multiple Myeloma is treatable ......it just may be the other things that aren't.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The Journey continues with Cycle 5 .......
Even though Bob has been in unrelenting, uncontrollable pain for the past weeks, he received great news on Tuesday. He is almost in complete remission with his M-Spike (Cancer count) at 0.3 (started at almost 6.0) and his light chains are normal.
Bone pain is common with Multiple Myeloma, which secretes a hormone that breaks down the bones. Compression fractures of the spine, which is what Bob has, pose an even bigger problem. The bones are weakened and can no longer support the body, thereby creating fractures - which create pain.
His pain is almost to the point of being unbearable. He is now wearing two 50 ml Fentanyl pain patches, as well as taking 6 mg. of Delaudid every 4 hours. I even have the alarm set on my cell phone so that we don't miss a dose in the middle of the night. So far, we've tried MS-Contin (morphine), Vertebroplasty (bone cement injected into the fracture), Delaudid, and now, the pain patch. On Thursday, January 6, he has an appointment with an Orthopedic Spine doctor. Hopefully, he'll be able to suggest something to alleviate the pain. Otherwise, our next stop will be a Pain Management Specialist.
He has 3 more Chemo treatments, in this cycle, before Dallas. On the one hand, MM wouldn't be so bad if it were "only the cancer" - it's the scars it leaves behind. A Stem Cell Transplant (SCT) can ensure a few more years, but the SCT that helps to put the cancer in remission can do nothing to heal the pain that the cancer has left behind.
This past week, a young (42) man in our area, died because of this terrible disease. It's treatable......it just isn't curable. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if in 2011, it became curable as well as treatable!!
Bone pain is common with Multiple Myeloma, which secretes a hormone that breaks down the bones. Compression fractures of the spine, which is what Bob has, pose an even bigger problem. The bones are weakened and can no longer support the body, thereby creating fractures - which create pain.
His pain is almost to the point of being unbearable. He is now wearing two 50 ml Fentanyl pain patches, as well as taking 6 mg. of Delaudid every 4 hours. I even have the alarm set on my cell phone so that we don't miss a dose in the middle of the night. So far, we've tried MS-Contin (morphine), Vertebroplasty (bone cement injected into the fracture), Delaudid, and now, the pain patch. On Thursday, January 6, he has an appointment with an Orthopedic Spine doctor. Hopefully, he'll be able to suggest something to alleviate the pain. Otherwise, our next stop will be a Pain Management Specialist.
He has 3 more Chemo treatments, in this cycle, before Dallas. On the one hand, MM wouldn't be so bad if it were "only the cancer" - it's the scars it leaves behind. A Stem Cell Transplant (SCT) can ensure a few more years, but the SCT that helps to put the cancer in remission can do nothing to heal the pain that the cancer has left behind.
This past week, a young (42) man in our area, died because of this terrible disease. It's treatable......it just isn't curable. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if in 2011, it became curable as well as treatable!!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Anniversaries and Milestones.....
Sixty-nine years ago today, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor and left over 2,400 dead.
Two months ago today, Bob's Oncologist confirmed the diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma, and admitted him to the hospital.
Two months ago today, he suffered through a Bone Marrow Biopsy. Two months ago today, he would have been dead within a week (the oncologist assessment) - had he not been diagnosed, and admitted to the hospital.
This journey, just as in life, is marked by milestones and anniversaries. The anniversary of the first blood transfusion, the anniversary of the infusa port, the anniversary of the first Chemo treatment, a milestone when the M-Spike begins to decrease, a milestone of partial remission, a milestone when there's a day without pain - milestones and anniversaries.
Today, Elizabeth Edwards lost her 6 year battle with Breast Cancer, and ended her journey. She taught us how to face adversity, and death, with grace and dignity. Perhaps her death saddened me more because I am living with cancer - my husband has cancer - so I live with cancer, every day.
My dream is that one day we can have an anniversary of the day no one else is diagnosed with cancer. That would truly be a milestone!
Two months ago today, Bob's Oncologist confirmed the diagnosis of Multiple Myeloma, and admitted him to the hospital.
Two months ago today, he suffered through a Bone Marrow Biopsy. Two months ago today, he would have been dead within a week (the oncologist assessment) - had he not been diagnosed, and admitted to the hospital.
This journey, just as in life, is marked by milestones and anniversaries. The anniversary of the first blood transfusion, the anniversary of the infusa port, the anniversary of the first Chemo treatment, a milestone when the M-Spike begins to decrease, a milestone of partial remission, a milestone when there's a day without pain - milestones and anniversaries.
Today, Elizabeth Edwards lost her 6 year battle with Breast Cancer, and ended her journey. She taught us how to face adversity, and death, with grace and dignity. Perhaps her death saddened me more because I am living with cancer - my husband has cancer - so I live with cancer, every day.
My dream is that one day we can have an anniversary of the day no one else is diagnosed with cancer. That would truly be a milestone!
Monday, December 6, 2010
No news........just no news
No news is generally an indication of good news, but in our case, no news just means......no earth shattering new news! Bob is now on the once per week Chemo (Velcade) routine. The Dex (I'm beginning to use those anacronyms.....either getting smarter, or lazier!) sends his Blood Glucose soaring for a couple of days, so we pull the insulin out of the fridge to get it back in line.
His only real issue (okay, other than the MM) seems to be the pain in his pelvis and legs (Neuropathy??. MM??, Velcade??, Sciatica??) which has gotten worse by the day. And, of course, it continues ALWAYS to be worse at night. For the past week, he has been on 300 mg of Neurontin, once per day; and increased to 3 x per day, yesterday. The Neurontin, and 4 mg of Dilaudid every 4 hours, plus some cold wraps around his ankles makes the pain bearable but also make him struggle to stay awake!
He goes for Xrays tomorrow, after Chemo; and an MRI, on Saturday, to try and determine which of the above is causing his pain.
His appetite is still good, his attitude is great ......maybe this is all just a bad dream?
His only real issue (okay, other than the MM) seems to be the pain in his pelvis and legs (Neuropathy??. MM??, Velcade??, Sciatica??) which has gotten worse by the day. And, of course, it continues ALWAYS to be worse at night. For the past week, he has been on 300 mg of Neurontin, once per day; and increased to 3 x per day, yesterday. The Neurontin, and 4 mg of Dilaudid every 4 hours, plus some cold wraps around his ankles makes the pain bearable but also make him struggle to stay awake!
He goes for Xrays tomorrow, after Chemo; and an MRI, on Saturday, to try and determine which of the above is causing his pain.
His appetite is still good, his attitude is great ......maybe this is all just a bad dream?
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