Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Life Goes On.....

We all have hard days of one kind or another, in our lives. A young son-in-law was killed, in a one car accident, years ago.....that was a hard day. My dad had a massive stroke and passed away.....that was a hard day. My mom died, suddenly........that was a hard day. My honey was diagnosed with MM on October 7, 2010....not quite 4 years ago (the doctor predicted that he would live 5 years).....that was a terrible day. He has been in and out of remission during this time, but remission was "just a word" (as one caregiver reminded me). He very seldom felt good and was in pain most of the time. On Thursday, August 28, 2014 I called hospice......and that was a bad day. But the worst day, of my entire life, came on Friday, September 5, 2014 when my honey took his last breath. 

He had begun to have many, mini strokes. He could no longer swallow without being reminded to do so. He was incontinent and was unable to stand and straighten his legs. Our youngest daughter and I were his constant caregivers. Near the end, I put a baby monitor in his room so I could hear him call me. 

God truly blessed us. During those last days, there were about 3 where he could still speak and knew what we were saying to him. He had begun to call me "mama" over the past year and he often called out to me. We were able to express our love, for each other, one last time. 

He left us a legacy....a beautiful house that he designed and built. A front porch that is my place of solace....a place where we can go to cry because he's no longer here....but remember the good times, good memories, good man.

He always commented that, if we died, we'd have to call "Rent-A-Friend". I hope he was able to see all the folks who came to honor him. 

His Urn of Ashes now sits in the Library he built, in our house. I feel comfortable knowing that he's "back home" with me. It will sit there....until I go....then mine will, once again, be joined with my honey.

.........Sadly......life goes on.

#MultipleMyeloma  #death  #passing  #cremation

8 comments:

  1. dear Sarah,

    I continue to think of you and your family daily, sending warm, gentle hugs and my love to help comfort you in your devastating loss of your Honey, Bob. I am here for you if you ever need to talk - i know it's so hard when you lose your person, the true love of your life. XOXO, Karen (Sutherland)

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    1. Karen: Thank you so much, sweet friend. I'm continuing to try to move forward....what else can I do? Hugs......

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  2. Condolences on the loss of your beloved, Ma'am.Thankful for the moments of clarity at the end...

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    1. Thandi: Thanks so much......I loved the fact that we had time to say "I love you"....one last time.

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  3. Sarah, my deepest sympathy in the loss of your honey, Bob. Your tribute poem is beautifu,l as is this post about life going on. Our journey with MM also began in 2010 and I was an avid blogger until life got busy, as activities were once again added to our daily routine. It sounds like you two led a very full life with your RV, pups, and family, and I love how your very gifted husband built so many lasting tributes to his talent, and places you can find "him" along with memories, solace and comfort. You have been through a lot as a caregiver and wife, and my heart goes out to you. I have begun to read back over your previous posts, and have been impressed with your honesty about how difficult battling this disease is. May you find peace in your faith, memories and family, to face the days ahead. That empty chair would be so hard for me.

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    1. Linda: Thanks for your comment. I hope your honey survives many years and a cure will be found before "his time" comes. Hugs.....

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